Surviving Dying
A Doctor's Take on End-of-Life Care
No one survives dying. What is this new madness?
I remember a med school professor stating, “Humans begin dying the minute we’re born." That startling comment made an impression to this day, now over forty years later.
What I mean by the phrase “surviving dying” is how can we best handle the process of declining health, either your own or someone else’s? Humans can survive decades of “dying.”
Is there a way to make it easier for ourselves and others?
1. Jam in the generational sandwich.
I talk to so many family members, friends, other writers, other physicians, and even strangers who are flummoxed by the complexity of caring for an ill loved one. Board-certified in Family Practice, my career as an FP physician veered early off the beaten path. I tried clinical practice, but there’s just no such thing as “part-time” Family Practice.
With two children and a physician-husband who worked full-time, I was blessed when a different way presented.
As it turned out, working in an occupational medicine clinic, then becoming a medical director in the health insurance arena would be essential to my unforeseen future. I was able to work from anywhere with a phone and laptop.
Thirty years later, I’ve reviewed tens of thousands of patient records and written multiple medical policies, even for Medicaid programs, which required me to learn how to decipher the peer-reviewed, published medical literature. And then form conclusions that could be read and understood, even by a layperson.
In my forties, all hell broke loose with my health and that of my family. For fifteen years, I ended up caring for four elderly family members, two of whom had dementia. (Never saw that coming so early in life.) I was still raising kids, driving them to school, voice lessons, choir practice, show choir competitions and a whole bunch of other school activities. And having surgeries.
If that wasn’t enough, I would eventually need fifteen major surgeries. I joke that I have more metal in my body than Wolverine. Now, I’m starting on my fourth autoimmune disease. I’m a “complex-illness patient” and have been for years.
As always, I strive to achieve in everything. (rolled eye emoji here)
2. If you have complex illness, or care for a loved one, or will be caring for a loved one, or just interested in this topic:
Welcome! My plan is to share my experiences to try and help others who face the same challenges.
3. I will try to post weekly. But I just said I have chronic, complex illnesses, so you may have to give me a break now and then.
4. Subscribers get to comment and receive free handouts. The first is Which Doctors do What: How doctors get trained, what they can do, and what they don’t do.
If there was a hole in the healthcare system, or in the insurance system, I managed to find and step in it. I even patched a few with some heated phone calls.
I just read this introduction, and suspect we have quite a few things in common. You mentioned CCW. Are you in Oregon now? I can relate to a lot of this. Take care!!